Now I know why I don't have a television

Hmm. Big Brother's back, for a sixth series apparently. After the first one they've all blurred into one, I'm sure they were only up to five.

Anyway, Maxwell will win. This time I'm not even bothering to watch the first night to gauge my pick from (a la Gos and Marco from years gone by). Once you filter out all the exhibitionist twats and clear no hopers (Derek? Did he wander into the wrong audition?) there's not much left, if anything. Given the blurb on the website, he seems like a big enough idiot but not so ridiculously overt to win. Having said that, he was "paid to get drunk" for two years. Nice.

Let's just run through the bios. 70's dancer, hairdresser, Derek (it would be the funniest thing ever if he won), someone who lists their "very busty and curvaceous figure" as a key asset, belly dancer, token black woman, a psychic, Maxwell (well, a drunk), a former "Most Handsome Man in Italy" finalist, a bisexual bint with a tit job who'll podium dance naked for tickets (must try that if I ever come across Juice tickets), someone who believes "her unique selling point is her body", someone they appear to have listed twice, and another token black woman who seems to be an escapee from children's television. As I say, spot the odd one out.

Hmm, quickly looking at Betfair after I wrote that, Maxwell's the favourite at sevens, there's someone called "Science" - if that's a real name that's scary, if it's a gimmick, well, it's a gimmick.

I've written that much on reality TV that I'm not even watching? I scare myself at times...