When you think a sport has reached its ultimate nadir...

The US Grand Prix happened. Jesus H Christ. Considering by all rights there should be precisely two people that are still interested in Formula One after the whole Ferrari internal race rigging scandal, the general lack of overtaking or any action after lap one and outside of the pit lane, Ferrari and Ecclestone (not Doctor Who, the other one) having way too much power and the lack of Murray Walker, we now have the farcical situation where one tyre manufacturer can't make tyres that are safe to race on or something (I don't give a shit about the specifics or how they allowed that to happen), and we've got six cars racing - namely Schumacher, Barrichello (very much the Val Venis of the F1 world, jobber to the stars), the Jordans who are about as fast as a broken 2CV, and the Minardis, who've got the same budget for their cars as Blue Peter have to make crap out of sticky back plastic and half the performance. Fantastic.

Here's a clue - give everyone the same cars, same tyres, same engines, same everything (you know, like how it works in most other forms of motor sport that are actually interesting), make the tracks so that overtaking is possible, and then sod qualifying and have those leading the championship start from the back of the grid. It really is that simple. Do it, or everyone will fuck off to watch the rumoured new rival tour, MotoGP, even bloody speedway. That only lasts a minute, roughly the same amount of action you have in your average grand prix. And people were actually outraged that this tour de farce wasn't going to return to Silverstone!

And I didn't mention Australia-Bangladesh once. Oh how we laughed.