Champions' League and various crap

Good to see that English teams (with the bizarre exception of Liverpool) have decided to self-destruct once the cushy give-us-your-money group stages have finished. Arsenal - Munich was a real men against boys job, Man U looked completely impotent in front of goal in a really dull match, my disgust of which was tempered somewhat by Carroll's howler relieving the boredom, coughing up for Crespo to slot away, and Chelsea - well, I don't know how Chelsea did, because no bloody pub would show it. Man U - Milan's a fine match selection on normal days, but not when Barca - Chelsea is available. This is somewhat more annoying by the fact that Earnshaw was advertising that Halifax was showing the game, which they weren't. And I doubt anyone will be showing the Chelsea game next time, despite the fact there's a lot more running left in that game (anyone who thinks that Man U will score more than once in Italy is very much mistaken). The only saving grace is that Werder Bremen were worse than all the English efforts put together. The group stage ought to filter out the sorts of teams that can lose 3-0 at home to Lyon. Or ship three to a Morientes and Cisse-less Liverpool. The German league must just be that bad.

And all radio can stop playing that boring as hell Athlete single any time they like. It was average the first time I heard it, now it's just dull. Coupled with U2 making the worst number 1 since Babycakes, it's clear that the music industry implodes when there's not been any Coldplay material for a while. Just finish the album guys.

Believe in the power of the arlo!

Just had the royal arlo, got paid nicely:

PokerStars Game #1243648793: Hold'em No Limit ($0.01/$0.02) - 2005/02/20 - 10:44:11 (ET)
Table 'Hind' Seat #8 is the button
Seat 2: Acydfreak ($2.01 in chips)
Seat 3: momudpuppy ($4.17 in chips)
Seat 4: dannem7 ($9.96 in chips)
Seat 6: jaytee2 ($1.94 in chips)
Seat 7: Cmanche Slim ($1.79 in chips)
Seat 8: wishmaster2 ($3.34 in chips)
Acydfreak: posts small blind $0.01
momudpuppy: posts big blind $0.02
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to jaytee2 [6s 4s]
dannem7: calls $0.02
jaytee2: calls $0.02
Cmanche Slim: calls $0.02
wishmaster2: calls $0.02
Acydfreak: raises $0.02 to $0.04
momudpuppy: folds
dannem7: calls $0.02
jaytee2: calls $0.02
Cmanche Slim: calls $0.02
wishmaster2: calls $0.02
*** FLOP *** [3s 7s Js]
Acydfreak: checks
dannem7: checks
jaytee2: bets $0.20
Cmanche Slim: folds
wishmaster2: calls $0.20
Acydfreak: folds
dannem7: folds
*** TURN *** [3s 7s Js] [5s]
jaytee2: bets $0.30
wishmaster2: raises $0.30 to $0.60
jaytee2: raises $1.10 to $1.70 and is all-in
wishmaster2: calls $1.10
*** RIVER *** [3s 7s Js 5s] [3h]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
jaytee2: shows [6s 4s] (a straight flush, Three to Seven)
wishmaster2: mucks hand
jaytee2 collected $3.82 from pot
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $4.02 | Rake $0.20
Board [3s 7s Js 5s 3h]
Seat 2: Acydfreak (small blind) folded on the Flop
Seat 3: momudpuppy (big blind) folded before Flop
Seat 4: dannem7 folded on the Flop
Seat 6: jaytee2 showed [6s 4s] and won ($3.82) with a straight flush, Three to Seven
Seat 7: Cmanche Slim folded on the Flop
Seat 8: wishmaster2 (button) mucked [As 8c]

Elections silly season started - six people care

9am torts lecture today was made briefly amusing by someone who's running for one of the sabb positions. This is all I remember of it, apart from that it was blatantly being read off a piece of paper, so memorable were her policies that she needs to write them down to recall:

"Hello, blah blah blah, Women's Officer (normally I'd turn off here, but unlike the discrimination hellhole that is Warwick, men are allowed to vote), blah blah blah, free condoms, blah blah blah" - throws out sweets.

This is the flaw with student politics - apart from the fact that I couldn't hear her name, every candidate runs on the exact same ticket. The temptation to go to hustings and just ask "what policies do you have that are different from your opponents?" is huge. But I really doubt I'd care, seeing how whoever has the biggest social circle wins anyway (cf. the rugby union reign of terror at Warwick). I don't know any of the candidates (well, I might do, but there's less than two weeks until a vote and I've seen none of the following:

- dozens of coloured A4 posters around the union with some witty pun attached to their name
- prior to today, anyone openly going round advertising they're running with some ridiculous publicity stunt/gimmick
- a list of candidates from whatever Sheffield's equivalent of Elections Group is, in the Steel Press or anywhere)

I'm sure they're all decent people - all of the ex-sabbs I knew from Warwick were alright folk, as were those I knew that didn't get in. It's just that I couldn't give a shit who wins.

edit (19/2) - I've just had a look at the pdf for the candidates that's shown up on the union website. Luckily, good old RON's available for election.

Poker and stuff

Not said much recently... not much going on apart from England being crap really, and having broke through the 1000 point barrier in the fantasy football (Henry, Rooney and Defoe having a VERY good weekend). Lost pub quiz yesterday with 27/31... team with 30 clearly had a Mr. G. Oogle working for them. May have to lay off the poker for a little bit... heads up in a friendly at the Cat on Monday, run into A-K, Q-Q and K-K in the space of about five hands and call them all in each time. First one lost me the chip lead, second one I cracked with 3-5 on an A-2-4 flop (kekekekeke) and then lost the third and the match. Just had A-A in a Stars ring game, raise to 4xBB, get one caller. Flop is K-Q-9 two clubs, bet out, get raised by the same amount, shove and get called. I fear the straight or K-Q, but I was ahead. Turn is a blank, river is Ac giving me a set. Shame he turned over J-5 of clubs :-)

edit - made back that A-A bad beat cash with A-J on a flop of J-J-4... other guy's 7-4 was no good, funnily enough, but then lost it back again later when K-Q lost to 9-4 on a K-9-4 board. I knew he didn't have A-K :-)

Steel Press still crap, other musings

I had to laugh at some things in the Steel Press today. Firstly, their description of Sheffield's hockey 1's winning 15-0 against Huddersfield "convincing" - I'd love to know of those unconvincing games where you score every five minutes.

Then we've got 3am wannabe and talentless hack Wailo Li exposing the Devonshire Cat as a nice place to drink - "arguably Sheffield's best kept secret" - ahem. One can only hope that the average student is put off by the high prices and doesn't realise that you get what you pay for. The reason it's nice is that it's not full of the dicks that frequent Cavendish and Varsity.

Then we've got Wilkinson claiming "I don't think that these [Juice] tickets are sold on to non-members [of sports clubs]" in response to complaints that the Christmas Juice sold out rather quickly. Let's do some simple maths here. "The guy who was first in the queue [Rugby Union's social sec] bought 160 tickets". When was the last time that anyone saw any sports social attract even 60 members? I wonder where those other 100 tickets go to? Rugby members' mates by any chance?

And as to whoever was making the complaint in the first place, why are you surprised? And why would you want to go to an event which I can best describe as Top B with all the Decadance/Score cognoscenti - ie. shit music with pissed dickheads? Each to their own I guess, but I cannot believe that you couldn't get a ticket. Just stump up the cash to one of the cheaper (sic) sports clubs and buy through them. Not exactly rocket science.

And "hi, I'm Josh from Ed Bram" is getting a bit boring. Clue - if we wanted to hear whatever your society was doing, we'd have paid your extortionate (where does that 18 quid a year go to anyway? Especially seeing how it's not difficult to get Eversheds, Clifford Chance et al to sponsor events) membership fees and got emails. Except that the bloody law department forwards your spam to us anyway. The irony is, today they were trying rather desperately to sell tickets to the Law Ball. Anyone who's been to Warwick and knows of the corresponding event there knows how much of a joke that is.

End rant :-)

Comments on England-Holland

Well, as far as 0-0's go, this wasn't bad, but a "not bad" 0-0 is still bloody boring. Though I've got to question Eriksson's team selection policy here.

1) Why start Rooney on the left? Just because Ferguson's playing Shrek out of position, doesn't mean you have to as well. It'd be better to have started Downing there and then have two natural wingers feeding balls into, er, the one striker you're playing up front. If you want to play Rooney so badly, drop Beckham and play a midfield four of Downing, Gerrard, Lampard and SWP.

2) Jamie Carragher and Wes Brown at centre back? OK, he was desperate, but having to go all the way to Wes Brown? He can't even get into United's team. Hell, he can't even get into my fantasy team. Experiment. Slot Gary Neville into centre back and play Glen Johnson at right back. Or play a three of Neville, Carragher and someone else (even jack of all trades Hargreaves would do here) with Cole at left wingback and SWP at right wingback. This would also allow you to play Beckham as part of a midfield three where he plays best. He's not a winger.

3) I'm all for trying people out in meaningless matches, but Andy Johnson's got to feel a bit hard done by. Why leave Owen as the sole striker (where Johnson's mostly been playing and scoring all year) and play AJ wide right? He's not a winger, and was pretty ineffective. I don't understand the need to bring on Jenas and Dyer with ten to go either. What's the point? If you want to bring on a midfielder, try someone new or someone who we don't know what they can do (Jenas especially, jury's still out on Dyer). I don't know who else was on the bench, but this would have been ideal for someone like Joe Cole. Or Danny Murphy :-)

4) We were missing Paul Scholes last night. We always seem to be lacking someone who can link between the midfield and the strikers when he doesn't play. Lampard would have been the obvious pick to fill that gap, but he was anonymous last night. Beckham kept trying to play wide and if one of Beckham and Gerrard went forward, the other had to stop (I really don't know exactly when Gerrard reinvented himself from a defensive midfielder to an attacking midfielder either).

Anyway, I'd have played it Green - Johnson, Neville, Carragher, Cole - Wright-Phillips, Lampard, Gerrard, Downing - Owen, Rooney. Sub Rooney for Johnson at half time and make other changes as needs be.

The overwhelming sense I had last night was that nobody staked a claim for anything. Apart from Shaun Wright, who'll naturally be dropped when Eriksson reverts to playing a four in midfield and he tries someone else on the left.

Various crap

Just a few thoughts seeing how I haven't posted for a few days:

- Good to see Radio 1 playing good music for a change. Only because it's coming up to the (25th) Brits, then it'll be the usual crap. You'd think with all the good feedback they get from the likes of this and their 10 hour takeovers they'd change their playlist. Still, not often you hear Tears for Fears and the Sex Pistols in the same 24 hour period.

- What was McNabb doing throwing a touchdown to make the Eagles beat the spread with less than two minutes left?

- Bar One at 3am is full of drunks.

Great Moments In Video Games #1 - Super Metroid (an occasional series)

Super Metroid is the best game ever. Released back in, ooh, '93 or '94, it's massively superior to anything prior to it or since. Here's why:

The gameplay is perfect. Anyone with half a brain knows that gameplay is the only thing that matters in a game. Graphics, sound, story (god, I hate it when people say story is important. It might be. In a book...) aren't important. The controls are simple and effective, yet there's a great number of different actions you can make Samus do at the same time. You've got jump, fire, run and switch weapons. Using these, and various items you can pick up, you've got freedom of the entirety of Zebes.

So what the hell is the game about? Set as a sequel to Metroid (from the NES) and Metroid 2 (for the Game Boy - yes, the old one), you're sent to Zebes to recover a Metroid that's gone missing. Shaln't bother you with plot details, but it involves a lot more than just flying down and getting it. You're going to have to explore some massive levels, featuring at times Contra-style shooting action, Mario-esque jumps and Zelda-style item collection. Can't progress past a certain area? Chances are you're going to need to find something that will make it passable.

The game features some of the best levels and bosses that you'll see. The design is excellent, and it looks superb, with some of the best graphics you'll see on the SNES and a brilliant soundtrack (many tracks of which were remade for Metroid Prime on the 'Cube) which adds to the atmosphere of the game. They just suit each area perfectly.

The game isn't massively difficult, it's got a nice difficulty curve to it, but it's not so easy that it makes the game less than what it could have been (cf. Super Mario World). The only thing it lacks is a two-player mode, but Metroid's never been about multiplayer. There's plenty of replay value too. Complete the game, then try to beat your time and collect every item. Then try a speed run (it's possible to complete the game with every item collected in under an hour). Then see how far you can get without defeating any bosses. There's many possibilities. Play the thing now.

Quiz machines - an objective analysis

There's many different types of quiz machines that exist, of which only one is really worth playing. Here's a list of what's useless and why:

Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? - complete crap. Need nine questions in a row correct to get your quid back normally, and if you mess up the fastest finger first, it just needs one awkward question to make it useless. Only redeeming feature is if you get up to 32,000 you're guaranteed the win at that point.

Hangman - barely better. You've got a bit of choice with the questions and some try agains, but it's usually a bit of luck as to whether you can get a phrase that pays early.

Matrix - sometimes OK, but it's difficult to get more than a quid out of it in any one game.

Trivial Pursuit - in some cases worse than Millionaire in that it takes time to build your pot up, and then you've got to land on a cheese and then answer five or so correctly to cash.

Blockbusters - possibly my game of choice on a shitbox, although you've got to be quick. Suffers in that even a successful gold run only usually gets you two quid.

Lord Of The Rings - was fun the first time I played it when it kept giving me money, apart from that it's a bit nob.

Cluedo - it'll let you get the first two rooms easy, but it usually then takes forever to give you the third, get your quid back room. Even then, it won't usually be in one of the secret passage rooms that you're dying to hit.

Pub Quiz - OK, just a bit bland. Pays alright most of the time.

Bullseye - if you're on a machine with a dodgy touchscreen you're knackered, otherwise it can be a laugh.

Monopoly - normally decent value for money.

The Royle Family - I've only ever seen this twice and forget how it's played to be frank.

All the above should be avoided in order to play THE WEAKEST LINK. This is the best for the following reasons:

- There's no try again feature - if you get a question wrong, you just start another chain. And if you really don't know, you can always bank your points.

- No risk - if you get upto a payout point at the end of a round, it's yours. It's not like, say, Millionaire where you can lose your quid trying to double up to the guaranteed two. And it's normally not too hard to cash either - even if one of your two games starts paying at 15,000 points, the other one will normally pay 1/2 quid at 4/5,000 points, meaning a perfect first round doubles you up.

- Elimination of dodgy rounds - you've got five categories, and after each completed round you can get rid of a crap category. Bye bye nature :-)

- Most people don't realise that once you've got to your points required in a round mark, the machine will start giving you impossible questions. Hence they bank too early and don't get full value out of their game, resorting instead to frantic button-mashing.

- Ridiculously low payout points - far too frequently, Bar One's machine will give you a 1500-3000-4000 point requirement for 1-2-3 pound payouts, usually coupled with a 4-5K for 1-2 pound on the other game. Turned 1 quid into six earlier on that.

Couple this with the usual "playing it at the right time" tactics (i.e. after Top B at Warwick just before differentiation) and it's guaranteed money.